


Looking to Belong

by nlg734



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Day 1: Wandering/Belonging, Gen, Natsume Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nlg734/pseuds/nlg734
Summary: The Stone-Washers from Azuma's point of view.Based on Chapter 75, S6E02. Written for Natsume Week 2020, Day 1: Belonging/Wandering
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Looking to Belong

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first time seriously trying to do any kind of writing for fun. First time writing fanfics. First time participating in any fandom. So there's a lot I don't know, and frankly my writing isn't great. Sorry about that. Thanks for trudging through. 
> 
> Based on Chapter 75, S6E02. Written for Natsume Week 2020, Day 1: Belonging/Wandering

I couldn't stay anymore. It happens, sometimes. But it still hurt. I didn't know where I would go, where I _could_ go.

And so, I left. I travelled away, with no real goal in mind other than to find a place to stay. I wandered the mountains, passed by villages, drifted through forests. After some time, I came across a beautiful village.

I learned this village was Fujima Village, the home of the stone-washers. One of the residents, Nanamaki, let me stay in his home for a time. He told me about the village and what he and the others did. It sounded amazing: they traveled to purify stones that had taken the impurities of the air full of jealousy and grudges into themselves. They did this by painting a spell on the stones. I asked Nanamaki to teach me to be a stone-washer, to become his disciple, and he graciously granted me the privilege.

I loved learning the trade. I learned what it meant to be a stone-washer. I learned how to paint the delicate spells. Just as important, I learned, not as directly, that I could have a home here, that I _had_ a home here.

It didn’t take very long to complete the training that Nanamaki gave me. As all the other stone-washers before me, I set out on my journey to cleanse 80,000 stones.

_Nanamaki-_

_I have begun my journey, and washed my first stone today. The forest here is very pretty. I hope to find more nice places such as this, but home will always be the prettiest._

_-Azuma_

I sent the letter, the first of many, with a white-eyed bird. I sent regular updates, talking of the places I visited and the youkai I met. Things were peaceful and continued as they should for a while.

\--

“Hey, what are you doing!?”

I turned from washing another stone to see a human, and he seemed upset. I was surprised to be addressed by this man and words were lost to me.

“What a bad ayakashi. I’ll make sure you can’t draw graffiti anymore.”

\--

Half a year. It took me half a year to dig out. It was horrible. I already knew, yet I had to _see_. Using my brush, I painted the spell on one of the stones by the river. Even as I painted, I could tell. The power wasn’t there. I brushed more stones, but I could tell. The exorcist had unknowingly _made_ me into what they accused me of. Without the power of a stone-washer, I was doing little more than drawing graffiti.

I cried.

I could never finish my journey to purify 80,000 stones.

I could never return to the paradise I had come to.

I could never return to the home I had found.

I could never return to Nanamaki.

After everything he had done for me, I had nothing to show for it, no way to return the favor he had done me. I no longer belonged.

What could I do now?

\--

I was resigned to wandering again, but hadn’t yet been able to leave the forest. I stayed by the river, continuing to draw on the stones there, hoping without hope that it would work once more.

Then I heard my name.

Someone was calling me, and one of the voices I recognized.

I came out and fell to my knees, and bowed low to the ground. I apologized to Nanamaki. I told him what it all had meant to me, and apologized that I could no longer fulfill what I set out to do, unable to return home.

Nanamaki came to me and embraced me.

He said we could find a new home, and that we could set out on a new journey. He wouldn’t leave me alone.

I had wandered into a home, and thought I lost the place I belonged. Nanamaki taught me one more thing that day. I didn’t have to belong to a place. I could belong with another, even on a journey.

This was home.


End file.
